Junkers Ju 390

Dear Anna Kreisling, Flight Commander AREA 51,

More than 40% of the attacks on IRAN are being carried out by you and the Nazi High Command at AREA 51. At this very moment 15 Giant Massive Hairy Spiders are chasing our people up and down the streets of Teheran and eating and devouring many of them. Do you think that we are stupid??? We know that Israel has no Giant Spiders!! We know that Israel has no bombs that look like Soccer Balls,,and when you kick them they blow up everything within 55 yards!! They are all over the place!! Kids are picking them up and taking them home!! Outside my palace there is a GIANT SCORPION chasing thousands of Persians!!
But what really concerns me is the radioactive high Frequency Microwave weapons you are using on our brains. We hear a high pitch sound in our ears and within 7 hours blood vessels inside our brains rupture and blood begins to heat up and explode. So many Iranians have died from these high frequency Microwave weapons.
I know why you are attacking Iran! I was only kidding when I said that we were going to kill THE SAUDI ROYAL FAMILY. That all the women in Saudi Arabia and Oman, Abu Dhabi and Kuwait would be raped by Persian Soldiers. That Mohammed was a False Prophet and we would destroy Mecca and Medina! I know that you Anna Kreisling are the Death Angel that guards the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia!
So please stop your attacks, I was only kidding when I said all those horrible things! When I told Hamas to attack Israel, I was only kidding!! When I told Hezbollah to attack Israel, I was only kidding!! The people in Saudi Arabia know that I am the true prophet of God, not Mohammed!!

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Dear President TRUMP,
So you are claiming that this will be the BIGGEST Military Parade in history??? As usual you have your facts all wrong. The BIGGEST Military Parade in history was in 1939 when Germany honored ADOLF HITLER with a Parade on his 50th Birthday.
Hitler did not order this Parade, the German people gave him this parade because they LOVED him. He had saved Germany from a Great Depression, he had restored German honor, Women and Children were no longer starving in the streets. This military parade was over 5 miles long!! Overhead hundreds of Luftwaffe aircraft flew Swastika formations! Over ONE MILLION Germans lined the street in BERLIN to cheer our beloved Leader!!
Adolf Hitler stood very high in his Mercedes and saluted the crowd. They cheered him, because he was the greatest Leader not only in Germany but also Europe!
Adolf Hitler did not tear Germany apart by sending ICE AGENTS in to arrest Law abiding citizens. The only people arrested in Germany were Communists!
Remember Donald Trump that the Pope of the Catholic Church asked him to intervene in the Civil War in Spain, because Leftist Lunatics, Communists, were murdering Priests, Nuns, and Women and Children who believed in God. Many of these Communists came from America. In 1937 Harvard and YALE sent over 300 students in the ABRAHAM LINCOLN BRIGADE to kill Catholics, Women and children!
This is why Adolf HITLER sent the CONDOR LEGION to SPAIN!! STALIN sent thousands of RED ARMY OFFICERS to fight in Spain. He sent over 1,000 Russian Pilots and with them came the Poliparkov I-16 fighter plane, at the time it was the best in the world, with retractable landing gear!! Many Russian Pilots became ACES over Spain!! But guess what!! When they returned to Russia, STALIN had them all shot!! Why?? Because they had tasted freedom and glory in Spain, so he had them all shot!!
This is how the Communists in Russia operate! When the Harvard and Yale students came back after killing Catholics and women and children, the people of New York gave them a parade !!
When the Condor Legion returned to Germany they were celebrated as heroes!! They had won the war in Spain and had driven out the Communists !! German pilots such as Werner Molders who scored 22 aerial Victories over SPAIN would later fight in the Battle of Britain, flying the fantastic ME-109!!
So Donald, remember Bernie Sanders and the HARVARD HAMAS BRIGADE??? They are filthy Communist perverts who only want to have SEX, DRUGS and kill Women and Children. Our Leader Adolf Hitler would know what to do with these clowns.

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The WHITE HOUSE Command Center,
The President of the United States,

My Fellow Americans,
This morning I have decided to FIRE Robert F. Kennedy Jr. the Head of the Health and Human Resources office! Why?? I am tired of being told that if you let Cats lick your Red Measles spots, they can cure Measles!! What an Asskholla, What a Jerk! What a Retard!! Who put this clown in office?? It wasn't me! I woke up one morning and there he was, smiling down at me and saying he was going to take care of me! I kicked his ass out of the WHITE HOUSE and asked the Secret Service who let this Democrat into the White House!
Folks, every morning I turn on the T.V. and watch the riots in Los Angeles. Then I have breakfast! Hamburger Gravy over toast with lots of Pepper on it!! This is what a true Republican eats for Breakfast!! Not Yogurt and Lawnmower grass over RANCH DRESSING!! Only Democrats eat shit like that!!
Folks, I just love this guy Gov. Gavin Newsom of California!! He has saved my carreer! Folks I now look Brave and Tough, sending in thousands of National Guard Troops so that ICE can rob and molest Mexicans and take away Parents from their children, and then send them to prison in Guatemala!! I just love it when they go into Catholic Churches and in the middle of worship services, they line up all the Mexicans and take them away!! This is GREAT!!
Now I want to honor the Best place to eat in America! McDonald's!!! Why??? McDonalds is doing more to help the 45 Million Homeless Veterans that are living on our streets! No housing, No Medical, No Dental, Just living on the street like a Dog. McDonald's each morning lets these Veterans in so they can splash water on themselves and use the bathroom. Then they let them beg outside so they can have a cup of Coffee, and maybe even an EGG McMuffin. Without McDonalds these Homeless Veterans would just die!!
So I am presenting McDonalds with a Presidential Medal of Freedom and our BIG Military Parade this Saturday will be dedicated to Ronald McDonald and the Ham Burglar, the Golden Arches and McDonalds!!
Our U.S.A ARMY salutes you McDonalds!!!
Now Folks I have to get back to the Football Game in Los Angeles! Next I am sending in the Girl Scouts of America !!! This will make GREAT TELEVISION!!

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Hello America, How are you???
Don't you know me,,,I'm your Native son!

Hey for $25,000 Dollars,,,Name that tune! If you do contact President Trump at the WHITE HOUSE and sing that song to him, and if you do a Super Duper Job, he might give you $25,000 dollars, or Pesos, or Krypto Monopoly Money!! Folks its all the same! What do I care,,,IT'S YOUR TAX DOLLARS!

Well Folks, I'm right in the Middle of passing this BIG BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL, at least that's what Donald Duck calls it.
But Folks, being Speaker of the House allows me to see Nude pictures of Anna Kreisling! Let me tell you she is one HOT TAMALE, she is 5 feet 8 inches tall, weighs 130 lbs.,,,and she is tan and has ice blonde hair, crystal ice blue eyes, and WOW!! 38 DD Knockers!! JFC!!! Holy Cow!! No wonder Donald Duck tried to rape her at AREA 51!! She had to kick him in his CAJONES EIGHT TIMES, before HE LOST INTEREST!!
Folks the part of the Anna Kreisling saga that I like best is when her and Hans Pancherz penetrated into Canadian Air Space. In August of 1943 there was no radar coverage of this part of Canada. This is what is amazing about this flight! If Anna and Hans had taken a direct approach to New York, radar would have found them, but they didn't! By going north over Canada they could accomplish what was really important to Hitler, taking pictures of the American Industrial Plants in Michigan which were vital to the United States!
The Luftwaffe never bombed a target of such importance unless a RECON FLIGHT was first flown!
Another brilliant part of the planning was to approach NEW YORK from the west. Again in 1943 this was unthinkable to our Military!
However as you know, MI6 and British Intelligence finally got through to the White House and let President Roosevelt know that a Junkers JU-390 was approaching the city of New York!
This is when President Roosevelt made a very important decision,,,NOT TO SHOOT IT DOWN. Why??? So the public would not be alarmed, the public would never know about the MANHATTAN PROJECT, the race to build an Atomic Bomb before NAZI GERMANY would have the Bomb!
This shows the genius of President Roosevelt, however he was shaken and upset that this German JU-390 could reach New York.
So why is Anna Kreisling still at AREA 51??? Read about OPERATION PAPERCLIP, and it will fully explain how she and Werner Braun and all the TOP NAZI Scientists were brought to the United States, and they helped us win the Cold War!!

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My Fellow Democrats,
I have brought into our country 3,000 Houthis from Yemen and they are busy building Catapaults to launch Toxic deadly smelly Poop at the WHITE HOUSE. As AOC and Rachel Maddow have said,,," NOW IS THE TIME TO FIGHT BACK!!" So my Fellow Americans the Houthis have built 300 Catapaults and we have them in position around the White House. We will launch the deadliest stuff known to man,,,,Joe Biden's Diapers!
Folks I know this is horrible,,,but when this Poop comes crashing through the windows at the White House,,,Donald Trump will understand how bad his Big Beautiful Bill IS !!!
i JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH Gov. Gavin Newsom and he told me that the Democrats have got to stop talking about GAY SEX all the time. That we need to stop burning American Flags. We need to stop BANNING Saluting the American Flag at Public Schools! We need to act like we support the Police instead of screaming,,,KILL THE PIGS!!
Gov. Gavin Newsom also said,,,WE need to start loving guns and understand that GUNS are a blessing from God.
Folks, Lets face facts,,,GAVIN NEWSOM is out of his mind!! As Democrats we have the right to hate America! We have the right to insist that Rapists from South America can dress like girls and rape women in Women's Bathrooms!! That NBA PLAYERS CAN WEAR A BRA AND SKIRTS and play in Women's Basketball,,, This is only right and fair!!!
So Gavin, come to Washington D.C. and help AOC and Me, BOMBARD THE WHITE HOUSE with JOE BIDEN'S DIAPERS!! This will be his greatest contribution to humanity!! Providing the POOP That will cause the Republicans to host a White Flag and surrender the WHITE HOUSE!!!

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Dear President Donald J. TRUMP,
You need to listen carefully to your Sec. of Defense Pete Hegseth. He is essentially correct about Red China preparing for War. The Red Chinese have the studied the Japanese Campaign in the Pacific during World War II,,and have concluded that taking the Phillipines is of great importance.
Make no mistake that after the Phillipines, they plan of taking all the islands that lead to Australia, which is their grand prize.
My recommendations Mr. President is that you need some Pirate Submarines that will sink Chinese merchant and War ships, that way you can tell China that the USA had nothing to do with these sinkings.
Queen Elizabeth did this during her reign in England, Sir Francis Drake kept the Spanish in terror as he plundered and took Gold from their ships.
I have instructed the Kriegsmarine to start sinking Chinese ships in the South China Sea. They can not be detected, and the Chinese are going to start losing valuable ships and sailors. I also want them to sink Chinese Fishing vessels that are destroying our oceans.
I advise you to increase the number of American Bombers in the Phillipines and to ready our Nuclear ICBM's to be used on Red China if they try to invade TAIWAN.
Finally Mr. President, what really concerns me is that many in the Red Chinese Military are urging Xi Jinping to launch a FIRST STRIKE on the United States. 800 Chinese Long Range Rockets will be launched on the USA, they will then tell you that if you respond with our Nuclear Weapons , they will then launch 4,200 long range Nuclear tipped rockets at us.
My advice is that if our Sattelites pick up that they are starting their Rocket engines in their silos,,,You launch first and destroy these Chinese Missiles at their sites,,,YOU MUST STRIKE FIRST.
Sincerely,
Anna Kreisling KG-200

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My Fellow Americans,
Today is Memorial Day and I am laying a wreath at Arlington Cemetary to honor all of our soldiers who have died defending our country.
This is very sad for me, because at one time in my life I only cared about gaining more wealth, more money and power. But now as I get old, I realize that all of that means nothing. What these soldiers did, by sacrificing their lives is much more important than all the Gold in this world. All of us are only here for a short time, and it is the Deed that will be remembered, not your wealth or power. I wish to apoligize to all the Vietnam Veterans, what I said years ago was wrong. I have many strong feelings about the Vietnam War. Our men and women in uniform were betrayed by the scum and cowards in Congress and the White House. America never tried to win the Vietnam War, and you don't send troops out to fight unless you have a plan for Victory. If you study history, it only took the Japs one month to conquer Vietnam, or as it was known back then as INDOCHINA, a French Colony. The Japanese took over all the major cities on the coast and let it be known that if any Vietnamese killed one Jap soldier, a thousand Vietnamese would have their heads chopped off. Over 3 Million Vietnamese were killed by the Japanese troops, most of them using their Samurai Swords! They were very proud of these blood rusted swords!
My Fellow Americans our Men and Women in Vietnam were never allowed to win the war, and many of them knew this! Yet they kept fighting on and this bravery is what inspires me! Almost every week we would lose more than 200 American Soldiers and win every battle, yet there was not plan for Victory from the Democrats. We were never allowed to invade North Vietnam, over 55 major targets in North Vietnam were off limits to our Jet Fighter Bombers, Mig airfields, Hanoi, Haiphong harbor, etc. etc. AND on top of that we were court-martialing 2 to 3 pilots a month because they got angry and shot down a Mig over Hanoi!! They kept this secret from the public, they would bring these pilots home and kick them out of the service with a Dishonorable Discharge!! Just for shooting down a Mig!!
I also want to pay tribute to the Black Soldiers who fought in Vietnam! Many weeks over 50% of our troops who were getting killed in combat were Black U.S. Army soldiers! This is why we honor all Vietnam Veterans this Memorial Day! Never Again should we send troops overseas to fight and die unless we have a plan for Victory!
Remember our troops, Remember our brave Men and Women in uniform, what they did will be far more important than anything I have ever done!

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Good Morning Bill Clinton,
And what a beautiful morning it is! Just like you I am having some Black Ass and Peach Pie. Man it is soooo GOOD in the Morning!!
Bill how did you meet Anna Kreisling?? I was told that you were picking cotton and Hillary was pregnant, sitting in the shade, bitching about things and drinking ice cold Peach Tea. That is rough, pickiing cotton while your wife is bitching and drinking ice cold Peach Tea!
In the distance you could see seven riders on horseback, one was fair with blonde glacier white hair, clad in black leather, while the other riders were all Japanese Samurai warriors, dressed fiercely for battle!
Suddenly from 75 yards away she rode towards you by herself, and stopped by Hillary. You stopped picking cotton and joined your wife. As you gazed into her eyes, you knew your life was about to change.
For one hour you talked and then large amounts of money appeared in your Bank accounts, very important people were calling you, and within two years you became the Governor of Arkansas.
At YALE University you were asked,
"What must you have to run for President of the United States???"
And you replied,,,," $135 Million Dollars in your War Chest, just to begin with!!"
Bill, why did Anna Kreisling choose you??? Is this Destiny,,,or just a chance encounter??? It has to be destiny!!!

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Dear President Donald Trump,
You really should listen to what President Joe Biden is saying. I was born in the great State of Arkansas, and we were taught to respect women, to open doors for them, pay for everything, and treat them like they are members of the Royal Family. Let me tell you Donald, you are lucky to be alive, and that she did not cut your walnuts off!! You can't go around trying to rape Anna Kreisling! Dear God, she has cut the heads off Russians and then disembowled them!! For many years she was my personal pilot. If I wanted to fly to Europe and be there within one hour, I would give her a call and she would land one of the small two seater Saucers at the White House, and off we would go!
Why do you want an old and slow Boeing 747 from Qatar??? If you were someone that Anna Kreisling trusted, she could fly you anywhere in the world in less than one hour!
Donald right now she regards you as a Chimpanzee with Diareah. Man if you want to change, just do this to get on her good side. First she could not stand Joe Biden because he was very cruel to horses. He had Homeland Security flying Helicopter Gun Ship killing wild horses just because his Leftist Lunatic Friends such as Bernie and AOC called the wild horses an INVASIVE SPECIES !! Anna loves animals, this is why she shot down 32 of these Helicopters!! This is why she has deployed more than 300 Nazi Snipers in Africa to kill these Chinese Commie Poachers who shoot elephants and many other great and noble animals.
Donald you need to join her in helping to save the animals on this planet. This is an issue that will help your image.
Donald remember this, Elon Musk has benefited greatly from the ALIEN Technology that Anna and the Nazi Scientists have supplied him with. Elon has been to the planet Mars and thanks to Anna Kreisling he has seen how the Germans live there. Elon has been to the Moon and visited with the Germans there. Donald you spent a lot of time with Elon Musk, didn't you talk with him about this advanced Science that they have at AREA 51???
Remember Donald, the next time you are crossing the Atlantic Ocean in an old and slow Boeing 747,,,look out the window,,,and I will wave to you,,,and remember thanks to Anna,,,I can go from Hollywood to Paris in under one hour!!

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Dear President Donald J. Trump, USA

There comes a time in every Man's life, when all the Millions of Dollars I have collected from the Red Chinese and the Mexican Drug Cartels,,don't mean a thing! I have Cancer and I will be lucky to live another 3 years!
Donald you were at AREA 51. You met Adolf Hitler and Heinrich Himmler. You met Hannah Reitsch and of course Anna Kreisling, the Flight Commander and head of Air and Space Operations there.
Didn't it dawn on you that the only reason Adolf Hitler is still alive is because of the GATE Technology that the Nazi Scientists have developed from the original DIE GLOCKE device! Donald, why didn't you talk about letting me and you go into this GATE, and that way we could live forever!
Instead, you spend 7 hours helping Anna Kreisling wash her Junkers JU-390, and because she is just wearing some pink shorts and a German Afrika korp cap,,,you try to rape her! You got kicked in the Cahones 8 times before you stopped trying to rape her! What is wrong with you????
Donald I tried three times to assault and take AREA 51!! Why?? Because President Xi Jinping of China wants to live forever! He wants this technology!! And I failed him! I failed my Commie Boss! Corn Pop says that the Red Commie Chinks are still going to pop a cap in my ass because I failed to take AREA 51.
By the way tell your inbred son, Don Jr. to quit talking trash about my wife Jill. She has connections with the Mafia and the Red Chinese and she can get them to pop a cap in his ass. Or Corn Pop will do it for $25 dollars!!
Donald don't you want to live forever!! Don't you want to be the President for another 300 years??? This can happen if you help me capture Anna Kreisling!

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Dear Senator Bernie Sanders,
I have just returned from Japan, and what I discovered North in Kuril Islands should interest you. As you know, the Japanese had an Atomic Bomb Program and were very close to having several A-Bombs to use on the Americans. On one of these Kuril Islands to the North, this is where Anna Kreisling was instructing the Japanese pilots on how to fly the Japanese version of the Junkers JU-390. i found that the remains of three of these Japanese Planes are still there, thousands of German Nazi marked fuel cans, and an underground installation where the Japanese Atomic Bomb was to be in the final assembly stages.
Bernie make no mistake, Anna Kreisiing had volunteered to fly a one way mission on November 10th and drop the Atomic Bomb on Los Angeles.
However in March 1945, she is recalled back to Berlin by orders from Heinrich Himmler, Adolf Hitler and Martin Bormann.
Bernie now here is the important fact,,,she flew back on a Junkers JU-390, which was seized and used by SS Col Hans Kammler to fly the DIE GLOCKE out of Germany and was delivered to the OSS at Wright Patterson AFB on May 22, 1945. This was a great TOP SECRET weapon that he delivered as part of OPERATION PAPERCLIP.
Bernie, think about this, three of the best rescue Pilots in the world are in the Bunker with Hitler and Eva. Hans Baur, Hannah Reitsch, and Anna Kreisling. Hans Baur is on record as saying that he could fly Hitler to any point in the world. Bernie here is another historical fact, Martin Bormann made it out of the Bunker and went to South America. Martin Bormann was only powerful if he was with Adolf HITLER. This is why all the evidence points to the fact that Hitler and Eva also arrived in South America. Not only do the FBI and CIA files confirm this, but this was part of OPERATION PAPERCLIP. WHY??? Think about this, people like Werner Von Braun and Anna Kreisling worked enthustiactically with the Americans because they knew that Hitler was alive and this is what he wanted as part of the Fourth Reich. The Nazi's hated Communists and so did the Americans.
Bernie, we at Harvard know this history, but most Graduate students who major in history do not!

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Good Morning Pakistan !!
This morning I took off in my Mig-25 Foxbat, loaded down with two huge Napalm Bombs to drop them on some stinking Pakis. It is so much fun to drop Napalm on women and children in Pakistan and watch them run around and burn and fry like the Pigs they are!
There were 45 Migs in my squadron flying towards Karachi Pakistan, when all of a sudden we were intercepted by some UFO'S. Small unmanned spacecraft that flashing by at unheard of speeds. Within 35 seconds all of our Dear Indian Air Force Migs were shot down! Only I escaped by diving and heading back to India! When I landed I was really mad, because I had to eject my Napalm over our own troops in India. Good Golly Miss Molly, I think I am going to tell my Commanding Officer that it was a Pakistan Air Force Jet that dropped that Napalm!!
I have been told that the UFO'S were from AREA 51, and commanded by Anna Kreisling, the Flight Commander of AREA 51.
Why is she shooting down IAF Jets??? I have been told that she trained the Pakistan Air Force how to use the F-86 Saber in combat back in 1957. That these Paki Pilots are some of the best in the world. Good Golly Miss Molly, remember the Yom Kippur War in 1973,,,these Paki Pilots flying Mig-21's shot down 4 Israeli Jets in a Dogfight over Syria!! That the Israelis consider these Pakistan Pilots some of the best in the world!!
I also read that Anna Kreisling flew the Taiwan to Pakistan Run back in 1972, when Russia and China almost went to war! President Nixon ordered SR-71 Mach 5 jets to take off from Taiwan and fly between the Russian and Chinese border and take lots of photographs so he could monitor the situation. Only Civilian pilots were used and Anna volunteered for this exciting but dangerous flying! Sometimes over the Russian territory she would have more than 55 Migs trying to catch her and shoot her down, but the SR-71 was so fast that it could not only out run the Migs,,,but all the Missiles fired at it!! After weaving back and forth between the Russian and Chinese forces she would come in to land in Pakistan where the film was processed and sent to President Nixon!! The Americans did not lose one single SR-71,,,AND 35 Missions were flown! Each of these Pilots received $100,000 dollars for flying these Recon Missions!! After I drop Napalm on Pakistan all that they give me is a bowl of Ramen Noodles!
Another thing that really pisses me off is that the Jets that China supplies to Pakistan are much better than what the IAF has. Also the Chinese Missiles are really good,,,they will blow your ass off in the air!! In India we have eight times more jets than the Pakis have,,,but they are NO GOOD.
This is not fair!! I can't drop Napalm on Pakistan !! This is NO GOOD!!

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My Fellow Democrats,
I have hired 7 Major Public Relation Firms, to make sure my Legacy will live on in American History as the Greatest Time for the People of the United States. Let me tell you I am really proud of these accomplishments.
1. Gavin Newsom supports my Bill that allowed 438 young boys to be taken away from their parents and given some Nightmarish surgery that turned them into Little girls!
2. Mandatory Gay Sex in the Military. After our boys in the Military were forced to watch 275 hours of GAY PORN. They were told that the next time they take a shower, they can't say NO to Bruce!
3. My 3,398 Democratic Operatives that passed out $4,000 TAX DOLLARS TO anyone in Mexico and Central America, to get them to cross our borders was a Great Success! 37 Million Mexicans, Cubans, and Terrorists from all over the world got a FREE TRIP to the USA!!
4. President Xi Jinping of China ordered me to attack AREA 51 and capture Anna Kreisling !! I did this and 38,000 Chinese Troops died, 58,000 Mexican Drug Cartel Gangmembers died, and Bernie Sanders lost 458 Harvard Students in the famous HARVARD HAMAS BRIGADE!
Folks I was smart enough to have all of this filmed, and I have made a fortune selling it to Hollywood. Let me tell you it is the best HORROR FILM that has been make in the last 75 Years!! Screaming Mexicans getting ate alive by GIANT HAIRY SPIDERS, the blood, the bones crunching, the heads being eaten by these 55 yard wide big massive Spiders. It reminded me of Corn Pop and I eating CRACKER JACKS when we were little kids! We would take Ketchup and smear it on the Cracker Jacks, this is what those Mexicans looked like when they were being devoured by those SPIDERS!!
So Folks, don't worry, in a few years all the history books being read by your High School students will have me,,,JOE BIDEN,,,as the GREATEST PRESIDENT IN HISTORY!
By the way, the next time you see that picture of the Junkers JU-390, YOU will notice 4 male Luftwaffe guys standing around a Lady Luftwaffe pilot, that is a picture of Anna Kreisling. Did you know that in 1952 she was in New York working as a model. She can be seen in the Sears and Roebuck Catalog! Look at the picture of her and Hannah Reitsch with President Kennedy in 1962 at the White House!

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My Fellow Americans,
FREE Beer!! Free Bratwurst!! FREE Bratwurst and Beer!! JFC, i WISH I could have been there!!
Gentlemen, once you see Anna Kreisling dressed like that, you will understand why I tried to rape her at AREA 51. i admit that was a Bad Idea on my part, I had no idea that she was such a skilled fighter! JFC,,even Bruce Lee would not be able to beat her! Eight times I tried and 8 times I felt like I was going to die!! Getting kicked in the Cajones is not fun! After 8 times I promised Anna I would never rape any woman again!! I finally learned that you need to be nice to women and open doors for them, or help wash a Junkers JU-390 and focus on your job!!
My fellow Republicans, this morning the Houthis from Yemen fired a HYPERSONIC Missile at Lod Airport in Tel AVIV, ISRAEL.
This hypersonic Missile was supplied by IRAN. Now my fellow Republicans, understand this. IRAN supplied the drones that were used to try to kill me at that rally. IRAN also paid this kid $200,000 dollars to try to kill me. Two agents from IRAN were helping this lunatic in Florida to try to kill me at my Golf Course! I want all Republicans to start passing the word to IRAN, that unless you say you are sorry, and scrap your Nuclear Bomb program, and build a Swanky TRUMP HOTEL in Teheran, Iran, I am going to have my REVENGE,,,A WONDERFUL REVENGE,

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My Fellow Hot Rod Enthusiasts,
All of you missed a really great show! The Bakersfield Hot Rod car show was this last weekend. We had a little rain on Saturday, but nothing bad. What really impressed me this year was the German Girls who were giving away FREE Bratwurst and Beer to anyone who wanted it. I saw guys going back six or seven times to get some FREE Beer and some Bratwurst. One of these German Girls was Anna Kreisling!! She was wearing pink shorts, a pink lace bra, and a German Afrika Korp cap! All the German Girls were gorgeous but Anna was something else!
The Germans only brought a few cars, Anna brought her 1972 MGB, glacier white. a six wheeled 1937 Mercedes car used by Adolf Hitler, and finally a Volkswagen Bug with a Porsche engine, set up for racing!

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Dear President Donald Trump,
You can't fire every member of Congress, just because they are stupid, and waste American Tax Dollars. That is against our Constitution!! Sometimes I wonder about you!!
Donald, I have just received a video from Anna Kreisling. The Nazi's at AREA 51 can track every thought and idea coming out of the mouths of the Chinese Military. They also have demonstrated to the Red Chinese how easy it is for them to destroy the Long Range ICBM's aimed at America. More than 500 of these rockets have exploded inside their silo's and I suspect the Nazi's used Space Borne Lasers to do this.
Mr. President, Anna is trying to stop China from launching a FIRST STRIKE on the United States. As you know the Red Chinese have over 55,000 Intermediate Range Nuclear Tipped Missiles aimed at Russia. Russia is in a precarious situation, they have NATO on one side, but Red China also wants to take Siberia and Alaska etc. etc.
Donald you are so lucky to have been invited into AREA 51. You actually met with Hitler and Himmler also?? They have sent me a tape of you getting kicked in the balls,,,eight times by Anna!!!
What is wrong with you??? Don't you know that she has a Japanese Samurai body guard wih her at all times.The only reason you are still alive is that she was trying to educate you !

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My Fellow Americans,
I woke up this morning with a brillant idea! We will save $Billions of Dollars and Peso's if we just get rid of all the Members of Congress and replace them with Chimpanzees from the San Diego Zoo!
For the last 45 years our Congress has used your TAX DOLLARS so that Rich Fat Corporations, could close their factories here, and then build NEW FACTORIES in China. And You American Tax Payers paid for all of this to happen,,,THANKS TO CONGRESS!
Also every year Congress spends $3 Trillion Dollars that they have to borrow to spend. That is why we are now $39 Trillion Dollars in debt!!!
My Fellow Americans under Executive Order 3763553449786743,,,Congress is now gone, and Chimpanzees are now in charge! Fact; Chimpanzees will work for 10 Banana's a day!
Chimpanzees will never vote to increase our National Debt!!

Sincerely; Donald J. Trump

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Dear President Xi Jinping of Vagina,,,i mean China,,,

Thank you Comrade for your kind words. Donald Trump is being roasted in the European Press for showing up at Pope Francis Funeral wearing a Bright Blue suit and a red tie!! I showed up at the funeral on a Harley Davidson motorcycle wearing a Raccoon Hat, some Indian leather fringed boots and just a Silvery G-String. I figured I would be the center of attention! But noooo,,,the bastard Donald Trump gets all the Press for showing up in a Blue Suit!! Hey I love just wearing a Silvery G-String in public! It shows off my skinny butt and scares the hell out of children and Nuns! When I fart and the POOOP starts coming out,,,everyone starts screaming and running for their lives!!
Bernie Sanders showed up dressed like a Nun, driving a Vespa Scooter and smoking a big cigar. As he said goodbye to the Pope,,,he reached into the wooden casket and put the cigar in the Pope's mouth!! You could see the Pope just puffing away on that cigar!! The smoke coming up out of the casket!! This is how we BIKERS say goodbye!!
The Pope is very lucky, Bernie also brought a can full of Gasoline and was going to pour it over the Pope's casket and give him a Viking funeral!! Just as he lit the match and was going to set it on fire,,,Donald stepped up to him and kicked him in the Cajones!! Then he had the SWISS GUARDS arrest Bernie,,,our beloved Senator Bernie Sanders!!
It is better for our Planet if people all had a Viking Funeral,,,and not be stuck in the ground somewhere!!!
Xi, can you believe it,,,all the Press wants to do is bitch about Donald's Blue Suit!!! What about my skinny Bony Butt!! Why can't they take pictures of my ASSSKK!!!

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Dear President Donald J. Trump,
Even though Joe failed to capture Anna Kreisling, and failed taking AREA 51, WE ARE PROUD OF JOE, HE IS A GREAT COMMIE!!!

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Dear President Xi Jinping of CHINA,

Where were you?? I sat in that damn funeral for 3 hours hoping you would show so I could bash your Commie face in and then knock out every teeth youse gots in that filthy Chink mouth of yours.
You Chinese dogs talk big, but you are really cowards! Just ask your Chinese women! They slave all day in a factory so you can sit around and drink SAKI and watch T.V.!!
Xi, guess what?? Joe Biden calls me up and wants a FREE RIDE in AIR FORCE ONE to go to the funeral of Pope Francis! So I said ,,,Yes,,,so the cheap bastard shows up at the airport with 25 people who have to go also!! You have Jill his wife and the rest of the people are there to take care of their every need! So Joe Biden starts climbing the stairs on AIR FORCE ONE,,,and big huge green smelly turds start rolling down his pants!! The smell is so bad that I start gagging! His entourage is also bringing a CHANGING TABLE, so they can put a new diaper on his butt every hour!!
So I had ELON MUSK take his DOGE DOGGY TEAM, and try to throw him off the plane. More than 15 of Elon Musk's team had to be hospitalized from smelling and touching those mean nasty Turds coming out of Joe Biden!
So Joe Biden was carried off AIR FORCE ONE on the changing table screaming for Jesus, and swearing revenge against me!!
So 12 hours later Melania and I arrive at the Vatican in Rome and find out that Joe Biden arrived 4 hours before we did!! How is that possible?? Then they seat me in the front row! Then I look around and behind me are a bunch of Commie Democrats, all with their knives out ready to stab me in the back. But Xi Jinping, as I looked back in horror, Joe had a big smelly stuffed full of poop diaper,,and then he threw it at me! Melania screamed as it flew by and hit Zelinsky from Ukraine right in the face! He was writhing in agony as they took him away from the funeral!!
I tell you when you see Joe Biden getting ready to throw one of his TOXIC DIAPERS full of SHIITE at you, this is a nightmare!!
So Xi Jinping you were really smart not to come to the funeral!!

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